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’ I went back to nibbling on her neck, but my hips stayed still. Amy didn’t say anything, but after a minute or two began to get a little restless. I ignored her and kept on tasting. Her legs gave up their death grip on my hips now and instead started to slowly slide up and down the back of my thighs. I felt every millimeter of movement, but still I did nothing. ‘Charlie?’ Amy sounded breathless and a little puzzled. ‘Hmmm?’ I bit down softly on an earlobe and felt her shiver. ‘Um, don’t you think we could uh, get going here?’ She was almost whining, but not quite. ‘You have somewhere you need to be?’ Swear to god, Amy growled. I laughed softly, but it turned into an oomph when she kicked me again, harder than that last, and finished it off by grinding her bony little heel into my ass. ‘God dammit, Charlie, fuck me!’ she demanded. ‘Such language,’ I murmured, ‘and I’m not sure you’re really ready. Maybe we should just wait for another twenty or so minutes and let the suspense build?’ . It’s times like this that she feels like her body is dirty. Tarnished. Ruined. It’s times like these that all she can see on her body are his handprints, forever burned into her flesh. It pains me to see her like this. None of it’s true, but I can’t make her see that. I can’t make her heal faster. I can only help, remind her of her worth, remind her I care for her, remind her that it will be ok, and, sometimes, hold her while she does the exact opposite. Hold her while she beats herself up. Hold her while she tells herself she is broken. Hold her while she reverts back to that 14-year-old girl on the bus who froze while her boyfriend molested her. So here we are. She is shaking and bawling uncontrollably and I am holding her as tight as I can so she can feel safe as she does. It’s killing me, but she needs this. I hate him. I hate what he did to her. He probably doesn’t even know. As she calms down I loosen my grip. She turns around and squeezes me close. I let out a deep breath.
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